CAN SOMEBODY BUY THIS FOR ME?

PEHDTSCHJMBA!

After taking our seats quite early at the Tom Waits show in Saint Louis (June 26, 2008) our decent view was drastically altered by a watermelon-headed mutant who took his seat in front of us. Knowing that his freakishly huge skull was gonna be a problem, he offered us these killer "Glitter and Doom" matchbooks as compensation. All ended well, we ended up ditching our balcony seats a couple songs into the set and invited ourselves to the front of the venue.

Do yourself a solid and pick up Orphans: Brawlers, Bawlers & Bastards.

THE APPLES IN STEREO TO PLAY SAINT LOUIS!

I have some good news! The Apples In Stereo are slated to play the Duck Room at The Blueberry Hill in Saint Louis on Saturday, July 19, 2008. Yeah, so their new album (New Magnetic Wonder) isn't anything to get excited about, but The Discovery of a World Inside the Moone is pure gold. And I never really understood why Velocity of Sound got so-so reviews, I always thought it was their crowning achievement.

A REVIEW OF THE TOM WAITS SHOW IN SAINT LOUIS ON WWW.STLTODAY.COM!

Here is a delightful review of the Tom Waits show in Saint Louis last week (June 26, 2008). It was a good day to be alive. Tomorrow will be a good day to be dead.

Photo: Matt York (The Associated Press)

DANCING HIPPIES AT THE TOM WAITS SHOW!

Did I mention that we scored tickets to see the first Tom Waits show in Saint Louis in 30 years? Yup, he played to a sold-out crowd last Thursday (June 26, 2008) at the Fox Theatre, and yeah, he tore it the fuck up! All in all it was one for the history books, but one small annoying footnote would have to be these irritating, dancing hippie douches in the audience. And then I stumbled across this posting on Craig's List filed under "missed connections" (BLAH HAH HAH!)...

DANCING HIPPIES AT TOM WAITS - W4M,W,&W - 26 (THE FOX)

Reply to: pers-734208222@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-06-26, 11:55PM CDT

First of all, let me say how surprised I was to see hippies at the Tom Waits show this evening. Seriously. I expected hipsters, some old people, fellow music nerds, and enough guys dressed like mid-70s Tom (aka Hobo Tom) to choke a horse. But what I did not expect was you, hippies, and I was surprised.

Totally, disgustedly surprised.

And I like being disgusted. Totally.

In addition to your awesome fashion sense and complete disregard for personal hygiene (love those white people dreads, btw!), you hippies were total free spirits and I love that. While everyone else had decided to stay seated because the Fox is "that kind of venue," you bucked the trend and got your dirty asses up into the aisles. Up into the aisles right by the stage, by the way.

God, I just love it when people do their thing, especially in front of everyone else. And by that, I mean you were IN FRONT of everyone else. Some people might have been upset after paying $90 for a ticket only to have their view of the stage blocked by your dance stylings, but not me. Nothing turns me on more than hippies whipping their dreads around and rocking their bodies like belly dancers in the midst of a full body heave.

Ohhhhhh, yeah.

I didn't need to see Tom, anyway. It's not like I've been a fan forever. It's not like he hasn't been to St. Louis in thirty years and isn't getting any younger. Forget all that. I can Google him or something. YouTube has videos, right?

Yeah, so anyway. Just when I thought I'd died and gone to Hippie Dance Heaven, another one of you joined the fun! Instead of the whirling dervish style of dance the two of you preferred, your cute little female friend thrashed her mini-dreads, punched the air, and moshed in place to "Jockey Full of Bourbon."

Good tune, right? Yeah, I thought so, too. But you made it better.

Everyone else was complaining, but I wasn't listening. Okay, maybe I was sort of listening, but I totally disagreed with them! I don't think you're inconsiderate, filthy, rude, or deserving of physical violence. I would certainly never run and get an usher like one concertgoer did. I mean, imagine the nerve. He was only sitting directly behind you and had been trying to see for the past 45 minutes. Why didn't he just get up and dance, too? Pfffft. Some people.

Thanks to you, hippies, I didn't mind a bit that I couldn't see the stage or was too distracted by unfurling arms to fully enjoy the "Innocent When You Dream" encore. You really opened my mind. I mean, I get up and mosh and all, but my physical exertion is usually reserved for more "appropriate" venues. I only hope that someday I can throw all decorum to the wind and get down with my stinky self.

Hit me up so I can punch you in the teeth, okay?

It's nice to know that I am not the only asshole in Saint Louis.

ENJOY MY MUXTAPE!

Please feel free to throw away all your records and start over with my Muxtape!

I promise that it will make you forget everything that came before it!